i don’t understand the concept that i casually exist without Colin.
i’ve always been under the assumption that the only time i am ever brought up in conversation or invited to something, it’s because colin mentioned something to someone or colin told people a story about me.
i don’t know why it’s horrifying to me that people have stories about me without colin being involved in them. mention me when i’m not there. reference me. like i’m a real person.
i don’t feel like a real person. i feel halved. i feel wrong and empty and withering.
i hope this feeling goes away someday